Attachment Theory: Understanding the Anxious Attachment Style.

adam lee
2 min readAug 20, 2023

Individuals with an anxious attachment style often lack unpredictable and inconsistent caregiving as a child. They typically have a heightened sensitivity to relationship dynamics and experience a high sense of uncertainty and fear of abandonment.

Relationship Patterns

An individual with an anxious attachment style often exhibit the following patterns:

  • A desire for closeness
  • Jealousy and Possessiveness
  • Dependency
  • Fear of Abandonment
  • Heightened emotions
  • Overthinking

Communication Patterns

  • Verbal Reassurance
  • Misinterpreted Intentions
  • Excessively Apologetic
  • Neediness

Identity

Individuals that have and anxious attachment style usually have low self-esteem, and may need reassurance from their partners due to their perception of low self-worth and feeling unworthy of love.

Shifting towards a Secure Attachment Style

An individual with an anxious attachment style should consider the following when attempting to shift towards a secure attachment:

  • Exercising self Awareness: Recognizing the triggers and patterns involved with anxiety in the relationships
  • Therapy: Seeking help through a professional therapist that specializes in attachment could possibly help the individual understand their underlying issues
  • Mindfulness: Practicing Mindfulness can help the individual manage their anxiety and overthinking.
  • Inner-self: Developing a strong sense of self worth, emotional resilience, and self validation will improve the individuals ability to shift towards a secure attachment style.

It’s important to keep in mind that an attachment style can change and shift over time depending on the individual. With the right amount of effort and awareness individuals with an anxious attachment style can shift towards a secure attachment style fostering healthier relationships in general.

Thanks for reading! If you’d like to learn more about the different attachment styles, you can learn more about the different attachment styles I wrote here.

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adam lee
adam lee

Written by adam lee

I'm a martial artist and software engineer. I enjoy writing about Martial Arts, Personal Development, Technology, and Travel.